Our lives often revolve around the process of seeking acceptance from the people we live with and the people we encounter. We seek their acceptance so that we can get help or favors for them. Cialdini contends that getting people to like you is very critical in life. Obtaining the liking of others makes one’s life so much easier. Cialdini uses the example of Joe Girard, one of the greatest car salesmen of all time, to illustrate the importance of liking. Girard’s success was attributable to the fair prices that he offered his customers and the fact that his customers liked him.
Having established the importance of liking, Cialdini then goes on to outline some of the features that cause people to like us. First among these features is physical attractiveness. Cialdini cites numerous examples studies that have shown that people who are physically attractive are more likely to receive favorable treatment than those who are not. The second feature influences liking is similarity. According to Cialdini, someone is likely to comply with your request if there is something that you share with that person. There is evidence adduced by Cialdini to back this contention up.
The third factor that causes people to like us is praise. Cialdini contends that people like to be praised and praise is a great influence on liking. The fourth factor that precipitates liking according to Cialdini is repeat contact with a person. The repeat contact creates familiarity and liking. The fifth factor that precipitates liking is association. This is often by connecting a product with a positive thing in order to create liking for the product.
How I would go About Getting My Neighbor in Class to Like Me More
Obtaining liking from people around us is very critical. It allows us to interact with them more efficiently and in particular to obtain favors from them relatively effortlessly. Without doubt, there are favors that I would need from the person who sits next to me in class. At the very least, I would like to sit harmoniously with my neighbor and not get any interruptions while classes are in progress. Other favors would include borrowing material that I may not have from him or her. Getting my neighbor is very important if I am to be in a position of receiving some of these favors from my neighbor. The factors that precipitate liking highlighted by Cialdini would be instrumental in getting my neighbor to like me more.
The first thing I would do would be to asses my neighbor’s standards of grooming. This assessment will be done in light of making my physical appearance attractive. The assessment should help me in deciding the standards of grooming that I should adopt. I would not want to endeavor to make myself look so attractive as to intimidate my neighbor. On the other hand, if my neighbor has a keen eye to physical attractiveness, then it would mean that I should spare no effort in making myself physically attractive. Having an attractive physical appearance would involve dressing appropriately and grooming well.
The second thing I would do would be to try to be similar to my neighbor. During our first encounter, I will observe the way my neighbor carries himself, how he likes to dress, how much he talks and routines. As much as I possibly can, I will try to be similar in as many ways possible with him. I would not however go into detailed emulation of my neighbor’s way of life but rather I would strive to conform to his general standards.
As mentioned, I will be keenly observing my neighbor during our first encounter and will have learnt some of his ways. I will take note of the positive things about him. During our second encounter, I will objectively complement him in as many ways as possible. Complimenting another person often takes deliberate and conscious effort and hence I would not want to assume that compliments will come automatically.
I will seek to have my friend like me by interacting with him as much as I can during our second encounter. After the first encounter, I will have knowledge about some of his likes and dislikes. I will seek to have conversations about some of what he likes and in the process have as much contact with him as possible. I anticipate that contact will facilitate liking.
I would also employ association as one of the factors to influence my neighbor to like me. At school, the most relevant association is the kind of friends that one hangs out with. With prior knowledge about some of my neighbor’s likes, dislikes and traits, I will be in a position of knowing what kind of people he likes to associate with. I will inform him about some of my friends who fit the definition of what he likes in a friend. By associating myself with some of the best known characters in school, my neighbor should be more comfortable around me.